Some quarters, it does start on the first day of the month. Some quarters it starts on the 28th, and you find yourself in a bit of a weird limbo. Which is how I started off quarter four, the fall quarter, at the pool.

You see, it’s still summer-like here in Texas, though that will change, finally, in the next few days when a pacific front and a dying hurricane collide over Texas and dump some much needed rain. Even as I typed this paragraph, the National Weather Service just issued a flood watch to go into effect tomorrow night.

This week very much feels like a transition week, in part, thanks to the weather changing. But it’s also the flip of the calendar month and hopefully a little bit of a mindset shift, too.

At the beginning of the year, my job at my employer changed. And I hate this job. It’s a customer service job where I am on the phones all day, and already as someone that doesn’t like talking on the phone on a regular basis, doing this all day with people who are upset and mad, it takes its toll on anyone and especially in the past few weeks, I feel the toxicity of this job really working its way into my brain.

January-March are always the busiest months at this job, so it’s imperative that I find something new before the new year. That only gives me 90 days, when I feel like I’ve been looking for a new job off-and-on since 2023 (that’s another story for another time). So, we’ll see if I can finally, finally knock this goal off my list. It would be nice, wouldn’t it?

Regardless of that, though, I need to get my own mind right. I need to get my own nonsense right outside of work. And Q4 is always the busiest time of the year, so I’m hoping to fill my well, so to speak, with annual events that always happen - my boyfriend’s birthday, my dad’s birthday, Special Olympics events, my birthday, holidays, extra time off. There is so much I want to do between now and the new year, so many things I want to accomplish so that this year doesn’t feel completely like it broke me.

Quarter Four Goals

• Plot and outline And She Hunts.

• Write the first draft of And She Hunts

• find a new job

• celebrate birthdays and holidays

• read 20 books in the quarter

• declutter and clean my house, like deep clean

• start working out in the mornings again

• Write some personal essays here (I just need to find time to write them)

I also turn 33 in the middle of this quarter, and after the year I’ve had, I really hope the next year is kinder, a repeat year, and while I love evenness, my whole birthday is odd numbers, so maybe an odd year will be kinder.

But first we have to finish 32 and half a quarter.

Here we go.

I did none of that.

In fact, I did the opposite of that. I ended up burning out and giving into my depression pretty spectacularly. I’ve battled depression off and on since I was a kid, and this year has really been hard. Especially as we go further into the year and we get closer to the new year and I lose sight of the goals that I wanted to accomplish this year that will now have to go to next year, like writing and publishing a book. Or two.

The biggest one that gets me is the job hunt. At the beginning of August, I had just come off a job interview with a big company and had applied for a role where I know someone and should hopefully at least get an interview, right? Well, the first one is still just “in progress” and multiple attempts to follow up have been unsuccessful and the second one is taking their time with applications.

There’s a big secret you should know about me - I am not a confident person, at all. I am a firm believer that any time I show any ounce of confidence in anything, the universe will properly shut me down and bite me in the ass. This was another one of those moments, I was so confident I had to get at least one of those jobs and yet, I still have nothing to show for it.

While the month started off with some real, honest hope between the jobs and getting to spend a day with family, it quickly devolved. The second weekend, I threw my back out walking up the stairs, and that took a few days to recover from. I have a cyst that has finally broken through and its taking its sweet time to heal, so I’ve missed an entire month of pool time, too.

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In that time, too, my boyfriend decided to revive his Nintendo Switch and bought me my favorite game - Stardew Valley - on it, so I have been playing a ton of that recently. That game means so much to me and maybe some day I’ll write about it but I do have a tendency to go at it hard when I’m feeling down.

Even now, I’m trying to do better in September and I still feel the itch to go play. I think I love Stardew Valley in part because even when you don’t feel like it - you’re making progress toward something, and I do not feel like I have done that at all recently.

Everything I do is feeling like “one step forward, two steps back” and I know I’m trying to claw my way out of my funk because instead of being sad, I’m getting irritated with it.

So, August did not go like I planned. At all. But it’s over, and it’s done, and I don’t have to relive it again. Thank goodness.

What I Watched

• Supernatural

• Lucky on Apple TV (just watched the pilot)

• Tried to watch Dallas Cowboys football, but preseason games are apparently blacked out if you live in Texas but not the DFW market….

What I Read

• Ungodly Rich by Katharine McGee

• Catch Her if You Can by Tessa Bailey

• How to Kill a Guy in 10 Dates by Shaliee Thompson

• The First Ladies by Marie Benedict and Victoria Christopher Murray

What I Listened To

• Petal by Ariana Grande

• Some of Dolly’s greatest hits

• Stages by Lauren Alania

But we still have plenty of life to live in 2026, including a trip for a wedding, a birthday and lots of football and hockey. I also feel like I need to make a big dent in my book cart. As we get closer to the end of the year, I’m really feeling the crunch to get some of my year goals accomplished.

Reading 50 books might be the only one I do accomplish.

As I’m writing this, I’ve read 36 books this year. Surely I can finish 14 books by the end of the year, especially since I’m taking extra time to write this book. It was at tough decision to keep kicking this back but I need the extra time. All the events of this year have left me really struggling with my depression and pulled away from the things I love because I don’t want them tainted by the depression.

But I also need the things I love to bring joy to my life, so this month I am going to focus on reading. Instead of spending hours playing Stardew Valley, which I have been playing a lot of lately. But it’s not August anymore and it’s time to drag myself up out of this episode, even if it takes all year.

This month, as I focus on reading, I’m also trying to focus on completing my annual Book of the Month challenge.

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You have to read 15 books you received from Book of the Month, and complete three out of six categories.

I’ve completed “Hot Taker” for reviews. I need two books for “Omnivoreader” of two different genres, and two books for “Debut Darling.” I’ve picked books for this month to complete both of those.

Most of my books this month are physical, too, wanting something I can hold instead of just a screen when I’m done for the day.

My September Reading Radar

• Stolen in Death by J.D. Robb

• Fury in Death by J.D. Robb

• In Stormy Weather by Chelsea Curto

• The Lowe Job by Grace Alexander

• The Hot Girl Murder Club by Ashley Winstead

• The Unknown by Riley Sager

• The True Love Experiment by Christina Lauren

• Love is an Algorithm by Laura Brooke Robson

• Well, Actually by Mazey Eddings

• Dissection of Murder by Jo Murray

• This Story Might Save Your Life by Tiffany Crum

• Play Along by Liz Tomforde

I shouldn’t complain because it’s been a nice summer, temperature wise, until we got to August and then Mother Nature decided to cram all the 100° days into one month. I hope at some point this month, we do get that first cold front of the year. Most years it doesn’t happen until October, but I’m crossing my fingers.

Most years in September, I have my last day at the pool, usually the weekend after Labor Day, while I could go later, as it gets darker earlier, it’s not worth it. But I’ve missed a lot of pool time this year, including all of August and I think that’s adding to my depression that I’ve carried all year. It’s too hot to do anything but go to the pool and even then, some days it’s been too hot for that.

So, I’m ready for fall. Ready for it to be nice outside. Ready for all the things that are warm and cozy but the crips in the air. But with that, I’m also hoping for a rest at least for the end of the year. It’s been such a shitty year in so many ways, and I really need a quarter to go well for me before we go to January. A lot of this is because of my day job, which is not a good fit for me but you can’t just quit your job in this economy, am I right?

I’ve got four months until the new year and I’m just going to focus on taking care of myself the best I can, physically, mentally, and creatively. All of those go together and when one is out of balance, especially the mental or creative selves, everything is out of balance. How I get it back into balance?

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The hell if I know, but we’re going to start slow - or not slow - but focus on the things that do fill me up (or replenish me, if you will).

September Goals

Writing Goals

• brainstorm and outline And She Hunts. I took a step back from my draft in mid-August, just feeling like I had no good grasp on the story, so we’re starting over.

• Build out pages in Capacities for the book series - a reference page for And She Runs, character pages, and a page of links for quick access.

Reading Goals

• read 12 books, or at least 10. I’ll share more about later this week, including what’s on my reading list

• Update my Storygraph account for the year

• order my 2027 reading planner

• catch up on book reviews

Life Goals

• decorate for fall

• take a photo a day to document the good memories

• quarterly planning week for Q4

• Add some car information into Capacities - like the last time I replaced my car battery (which was last week)

• Move my body every day

• Apply for more jobs

• One last pool day?

What I’m not going to do this month is spend hours and hours playing Stardew Valley. I’ll still play it, but the last two weeks, I have pretty much worked and played Stardew Valley. September is all about balance and that means balance in that, too.

One of the biggest things with Capacities is making connections to different things you didn’t think to connect, and while this post isn’t really about that, I love finding new things on the internet that people enjoy, and just reminding myself to enjoy things around me. So I guess this is that.

Just a few bits and bops I enjoyed this week.

1. This interview of Kerri Russell and Matthew Rhys from Vanity Fair. I loved them in The Americans and I love that they’re still together in real life. The few interviews I’ve watched of Matthew Rhys, dude has just the most ridiculous (and wonderful) sense of humor. And the accent is great, too.
   
   The way the two of them joke about each other, but you can clearly feel the love and respect. I hope we all find loves like that.

2. Finally buying a ticket to go see Six! The Musical in theaters. The original West End Cast filmed a pro shot, in, like, 2022, before I even saw the show in Houston and it’s just now making it’s way over to the States.

3. The Band Perry drama. I love country music. And I also love internet gossip, as an observer, and this week, there was some big drama. This band started out in the late 2000s (like 2008 or 2009) as three siblings. A few years ago, they took a hiatus, the lead singer (and only sister, Kimberly) tried her hand at a solo career and realized she needed the band name to work. One brother, Reid, joined the reunion along with her husband and shortly left after. The other brother, Neil, is saying he was pushed out of the band at the time of the reunion. I’m so curious to see how this plays out and if Kimberly even says anything about it.

4. Fall candles. I’ve decided that I really ought to blame corporations for my sudden annual urge for fall always hitting in August. By the end of July, Shiner had Oktoberfest beer out at the store. That and football coming back soon, my brain is ready for some crisp mornings and a Saturday of college football again. While I have to wait for both of those, I can at least make my house smell like fall right now.

5. James Talarico dropped a wonderfully petty ad against Ken Paxton that has me giggling. I moved to Austin a decade ago to work in politics, and I did for six months, so this senate race is one I’m keeping a lot of tabs on, given that I am in Texas. I might someday write about my political alignment journey from childhood to adulthood (and even wrote a little about it here), but there is something just so funny to me about the fact we now have a political ad about Ken Paxton stealing a pen. A $1,000 pen, that he returned after being caught but I love that it’s become an ad. You can watch it here.

6. Doctors who help. As a kid, especially with a special needs brother, I now know as an adult that I didn’t know how to fight for what I needed in life. Maybe I still don’t, but there have been some medical needs of mine that have come up against the ire of my employer leading to me having to request medical accommodations. Even now as an adult, asking for that - asking my doctor to take time out of her day to fill this form out for me, I have this inherent fear that I’ll be told “no” or that I’m overreacting. But I guess I wasn’t because she filled out the form in twenty-four hours, no problem.

   
   It’s really just nice when you don’t have to over explain why you need things.

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I don’t know that I’ll share bits and bops every week, but sometimes it’s fun to just share things I enjoyed this week.

As we come up to the end of pool season (mid-September is usually when I call it quits), I’m trying to still read as much as I can. For a week in July, I thought I had cracked the code. Read a book on my kindle at the pool and then read a physical book (paperback or hardback) at home. That worked for a week. I just feel there are so many things going on, that by the time I sit down to relax, reading and trying to process words on a page are the last thing on my mind.

As I write this, I’m back on my “I’m about to find a new job and it’ll change everything” bullshit” as I’m about to interview for a new job. If I get it, I’ll be writing a whole post about the process, but I don’t want to jinx it either. If I get it, I’m hopefully taking a week off to relax before starting the new job.

Either way, my reading list is still stacked with books I want to read this month. As of me writing this, I’ve read 32 books so far this year, which means I have five months to get 18 books done. Most years I would think that would be an easy goal to hit, but this year? Well, I’m not actually sure.

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My August Reading List

1. In Stormy Weather by Chelsea Curto

2. Anywhere With You by Ellie Palmer

3. Not So Fast by Karen Booth

4. All Her Fault by Andrea Mara

5. Love is an Algorithm by Laura Brooke Robson

6. How to Kill a Guy in 10 Dates by Shaliee Thompson

7. The First Ladies by Marie Benedict and Victoria Christopher Murray

8. The Other Mrs. by Mary Kubica

9. Game Point by Meg Jones

10. Play Along by Liz Tomforde

11. Stolen in Death by J.D. Robb

12. Catch Her if You Can by Tessa Bailey

Here’s to a month where we actually get some reading.

But August is here, and after a busy weekend, it’s time to get back to work and focus on what’s going on and what my goals are this month.

For the last few years, I’ve been focusing on quarterly goals, going through a method by another author, Sarra Cannon, who does the HB90 method. But with that, there is a monthly review every month and I take it as a time to re-evaluate and adjust if needed. However, for the most part, looking at my quarter three goals? I feel like I’m in a good spot, a third of the way in.

At least with one goal.

So, now is the time to review where I’m at and how I’m focusing to hit these goals every month.

Goal One: Write the first, full draft of And She Hunts

word count target: 93,000 words for the draft
for writing for the quarter: 50,000 (good) / 70,000 (better) or 93,000 (best)

As of writing this post Sunday afternoon, I’m at 36,000 words. Not quite as far as I’d like to be but we’re still squarely on track to hit at least the better goal, if not the best goal.

While I would love to finish this draft this month, I think it’ll be closer to Labor Day. August is just going to be a busy month, with lots of events after work and on the weekends. I’m hoping for 30,000 words again this month, at least.

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Goal Two: Build Reader base

Instagram: 800/900/1,000 followers
Email newsletter: 40/50/60 subscribers

Right now, I’m sitting at 801 followers on Instagram and 38 followers for my email newsletter. I definitely expect the Instagram number to drop under 800 again, as I’ve been fluctuating around this number for a while. Part of me believes that if I focused more on social media, I might see more growth. And I want growth to sell more books but man, social media is such a terrible thing nowadays.

That’s why I want to grow my newsletter. Maybe someday, I’ll write a blog post on my other substack, for my pen name, about why an email list is so crucial for authors, especially indie authors. And I’m not just talking about a Substack list, but an actual list of emails and names you can take with you if you need to move platforms (and I have done that too many times this year).

So, I guess we’re on track for both of these stats? I don’t think I’ll be saying that in September.

Goal Three: Daily Score Average of 85

I’ll be really honest, I’m failing on this one. And not necessarily in the way you think, I’m just not tracking. When using Notion, I had a formula in my daily note where I could add different habits and things I did throughout the day - like write 1,000 words or meal prep, and all of those habits had a score assigned to them, between 1-10. The formula would then round up and add all those habits for the day and spit out a score.

Well, I’m leaving Notion, and the app I’m moving to doesn’t offer that. So, we’re going back old school to go over habits and I’m keeping it simple now. The big things I need to do every day, like take my medicine, log my food, and be creative.

Going back to review my goals and recap July, I feel better than I did before. That’s part of why monthly reviews are so important. To remind myself that it wasn’t a total failure and I did good last month.

Now, here’s to moving forward and keeping momentum when needed.

July was the first month all year that I feel like I wasn’t sick. Even with the flu gone, I’m a life-long, all-year-round allergy sufferer. Being on phones for my day job definitely activates my sinuses and I am loading up on allergy medicine more than ever before. The moment cedar shows up on the allergy count, I’m a goner. But it was the first month that I felt like I was just dealing with that - the normal allergies.

This was also the month I finally dove back into a book and started writing. By mid-June, after months of not writing because I was just focusing on searching for jobs, I knew I had to get back to writing. In July, I wrote 36,000+ words. It’s not my best month ever, but it is by far my best month of 2026.

It feels good to be creative again, to tap into that part of my brain that I don’t get in my day job. Especially over the first half of the year, when so much was just trying to survive - trying to survive the day-to-day of my job, the illnesses, the grief that stll catches me off guard, it got dark in my brain.

Creativity - the writing, the planning, the plotting - all of it, is important for my brain and important for my health.

The month started off not at my house, but dog-sitting again. This was a stressful moment as these dogs were much more vocal, while I was on the phones, than my parents’ dogs were in May.

However, the response from customers, which was usually empathetic is understanding that dogs just need to express themselves, finally gave me the boost of confidence to get back on my walking pad during work. I’m now doing 3-4 walks a week during work and that, too, is helping my mental health.

We celebrated a few friends’ birthdays, including an event at putt-putt where we caught a rainbow. That was actually the second rainbow we saw that night. We watched a World Cup match with friends the night after, and being out to watch sports with others reminded me while I love sports so much, even if I no longer play them.

Fourth of July weekend, we also went and visited with my great-uncle, who is the last surviving sibling of my grandfather. It’s bittersweet, to spend time with family members now, but know that the end is near for them. It’s the same way with my maternal grandparents, too.

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The other big thing I did in July was finally decide (I think) on a new productivity app. I’ll write about the whole process eventually, but after years of working in Notion, it’s time to say goodbye. I spent a lot of time thinking about the apps that I had the option to use and then dove back into one.

There is still a small possibility I just move to Apple Notes and call it a day, but I’m not ready to make that call just yet.

And of course, there were all the things I watched and read. Whatever August may bring, I hope it’s nice like July.

What I Watched

• Supernatural

• World Cup

What I Read

• Chase Me if You Can by Heather Frances

• Everyone in Lying to You by Jo Piazzia

• The Secret Lives of Murderers’ Wives by Elizabeth Arnott

• The Romance Revival by Christina Lauren

• Molka by Monica Kim

• The Really Dead Wives of New Jersey by Astrid Dahl

I’m not sure if it’s just post-Covid life where everything leaves my brain two minutes after it happens or just that I feel like this year will not give me a break. I started the month still sick from whatever sinus infection I had that I just couldn’t shake. The last week of May, I had almost lost my voice completely, sounding like croaking animal more than a person.

By the first week of June, I had my voice back, but still had this nasty cough that I just could not seem to get out of my system. I mean, deep, in your lungs, mucus comes out kind of cough (trust me, it was not fun).

And even now, halfway through July, while I feel better thanks to another round of medication, I’ve realized that I feel like I’ve spent most of this year sick in some way or another. If not the flu or the sinus infection, it’s been the blues, or colds or just awful fatigue (I’m on night three of three hours or less of sleep) and a good chunk of that I blame on my job.

June was a month I almost saw progress on the job front. I interviewed for an internal role (as did one of my best friends). Immediately after that first interview, I knew the role wasn’t for me, but it’s still good to get that practice in for interviews. It’s also the only actual interview I’ve had this year, but several of my friends have made progress with new jobs in the last month and a half, so fingers crossed it’s almost my turn.

Outside of work, there was not much pool time due to life and being on medication that made me sensitive to the sun. However, there was a lot of time spent out of my house which was nice. We’re currently a one car household and since my boyfriend works in an office and I don’t, I have to really make an effort to get out of the house during the week.

And often times, that comes at the expense of my wallet. But it’s fun to go out sometimes and just socialize with people who aren’t my boyfriend or my customers. Nice, fun conversations that take little time or bandwidth but are with kind people. I also used it as an excuse to get out and brainstorm on my book.

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Despite brainstorming being my main focus, I don’t feel like I got as much done as I wanted. And maybe I have to just try to learn and accept that I never will. My life is so different from when I started writing and blogging, it’s much fuller in some ways and much sadder in other ways.

But one of the ways it’s full is the people I have in my corner now, including one of my best friends, Kala. We got to celebrate her her birthday at the end of the month and I just love getting to celebrating friends and family. I spent time celebrating her birthday and then a week dog-sitting for family, again.

With the first half of the year gone, I really hope this second part of the year is kinder, maybe a little slower (that it won’t be) and full of more happiness, not sadness.

June Reads:

• Her Last Breath by Taylor Adams

• Such a Clever Girl by Darby Kane

• Caught Up by Liz Tomforde

That year, and for a few years after (I believe), his show did man on the street interview, convincing people to believe things that simply weren’t true - like that John Kerry’s running mate was Stu Ped. Many people fell for it, and as a ten year old, it blew my mind that people couldn’t remember who was running with John Kerry - John Edwards. My dad always thought it was funny that I knew more about the election than those who could actually vote, and as a kid who grew up in the midst of 9/11 and the War on Terror, I always felt like it was important to know what was going on. I thought that was patriotic, and in that political climate, after everything that happened since the last election, patriotism was important, especially in suburbia Texas.

As a kid, I had such a different idea of patriotism than I do today. Proud to be an American? Well, to be honest, I’m not so sure.

One of my core strengths as an individual (according to the Clifton Strengths Test from Gallup) is that I am futuristic. It is burned into me that I simply believe that the future has to be better (and lord has that burned me a few times recently).

I think that belief really defines what loose patriotism I might have now. Especially in the last ten years, it feels like the wheels are slowly going backwards. The American Dream dies with inflation, corruption and adulthood. Because part of me doesn’t know - how much of the American Dream has really died in the last decade, or even two decades, since I was a kid in my dad’s car, and how much is it just that I’ve grown up and no longer have that wide-eyed innocence.

Patriotism, at its core, is being proud of one’s country or homeland. But in the last ten years, here in the United States, it’s definitely taken on a new meaning. In fact, if you Google the definition of Patriotism, the Google-forced AI gives you that and the definition of nationalism.

And I will admit, as an adult who lived through 9/11, the Great Recession, a job market that has been band-aided together, a global pandemic and how many wars? A lot has happened in my lifetime, a lot that could have probably been avoided and it’s hard to be patriotic when your government continually sucks.

But, patriotism doesn’t have to just be about Congress, or the White House, or the Supreme Court. Earlier this year, we had the Artemis II go around the moon and back. That all happened because of Americans - everyday people who designed the Orion spacecraft, those who assembled it, and the three Americans who were on the spaceship as it went around the moon? That’s so fucking cool.

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A top-tier showcase of how cool the United States can be when she has her shit together. When Americans work together, we can do incredible and wonderful things.

Just overnight, Kelsey Pfendler absolutely crushed a record for the fastest solo row from California to Hawaii. Not only did she smash the women’s solo (which was originally 86 days), she beat the mens’ record by 9 days (she completed it in 43 days and the mens’ record was 52 days).

The older I get, the more I’m realizing that patriotism doesn’t really have to be tied to your government. In fact, nowadays, I don’t think it should be. But regardless of who is in office, Americans are doing cool things every day.

The Americans who did remarkable things in the first 250 years - there are so many names in history that created ripple waves that determine what rights we all have now in 2026. The founding fathers, the suffragists, the abolitionists. America’s history has never been super pretty. It’s messy and ugly and has a dark side.

But throughout all of America’s history, there have been people willing to push back, to demand change and progress, in an attempt to make this land better for more people. And as the United States celebrates her 250th birthday, the futuristic in me hopes that we see more of that in the next 250 years. More kindness, more peaceful rebellion, more support, and more liberty and justice for all.

Before yesterday, I hadn’t been in almost three weeks. Life’s little joys just are harder to find when you’re just in the thick of it.

And that reflected in my reading time, but we’re gonna going to keep trying. Maybe in some ways, God or fate knew that this year was gonna whallop me because I set my reading goal lower than normal - 50 books. And I don’t think I’ve hit that yet. I’ll be honest, I actually have no idea how many books I’ve read this year. But I just have to have faith that at some point, I’m going to cross that number and and least accomplish a goal. June only saw me read three books, so trying to triple that is probably a little crazy, but I am not nothing if not insanely ambitious and ridiculous about what I can accomplish on a good day.

There just haven’t been many good days as of late. Yesterday was a good one, though. I spent a few hours at the pool with my kindle and a book that I will definitely need to add to my actual bookshelf.

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As with most summer months, this month is full of books on my Kindle, including a few library books.

July To Be Read List

• Chase Me If You Can by Heather Frances

• Catch Her if You Can by Tessa Bailey

• Friends with Benefits by Marisa Kanter

• Everyone is Lying to You by Jo Piazza

• The Secret Lives of Murderers’ Wives by Elizabeth Arnott

• Molka by Monika Kim

• The First Ladies by Marie Benedict and Victoria Christopher Murray

• Game Point by Meg Jones

• The Really Dead Wives of New Jersey by Astrid Dahl

• Not in My Book by Katie Holt

• Stolen in Death by J.D. Robb

• The Real Deal by Caitlin Devlin

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But we got an entire book done in about two and a half hours and I think that’s a great way to start the month.

June Reads

• Her Last Breath b…

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At least not on what I want in life. I’m ten years into a hopefully long publishing career, and I hope this is still the beginning. I hope there’s a…

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Except this time, it was a telemedicine appoin…

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But one of the things I always try to make sure of is that there is time to read. As a young kid, I always saw my mom reading all t…

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Every weekend was pa…

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Watching such a cool experience has relit my love for space travel, though I don’t want to go up into space (I hate flying…

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