Now that fear has happened and yet it’s still a fear because I still have two grandparents left. And there is a core part of me that is afraid to dive back into goals while this still looms over me. But I also know I can’t just wait the rest of time for the other shoe to drop, and this feels so heavy on my mind this week.

With the year being as tough as it has been so far, I’m also very hesitant in my own ability to do anything. Every time I try to start a book, something goes wrong. Started a draft of And She Hunts, lost a grand parent. Started a draft of Lost in the Canyon, broke my laptop screen. Tried to plot out And She Hunts, again, broke my office chair. Spent two weeks on a yoga ball.

Obviously losing a grandparent and using a yoga ball as a chair for two weeks are completely different things with different emotional responses, but at the same time, I am so exhausted and so fragile in my productivity, they were both big enough to completely knock me off my rocker.

So, this quarter is going to be tough. The last two have shown me this year is going to be a knockdown, drag out fight. But I’m also realizing more and more that I need writing. I need that creativity, or I feel like a shell of a person. I’ve spent so much time just wallowing all year, and frankly, I need to cut it out. I’ve also spent a lot of time applying for jobs that led to nowhere, and probably will continue to do so.

My goals this quarter, are not much different than any other quarter. They’re just more specific to the big plan.

My Quarter Three Goals

Goal One: Write the first, full draft of And She Hunts

word count target: 93,000 words for the draft
for writing for the quarter: 50,000 (good) / 70,000 (better) or 93,000 (best)

I also need to build out the project in Notion, keep notes and details on characters. Do you ever have any projects you know you need to do - like organize your receipts or track all the work you’ve done on your car so you know the last time you had your brakes worked on? Well, those are things I need to do but I also need to do that with my book business - document character information and details.

So somehow in the middle of writing a book, I’ll update those details, too.

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Goal Two: Build Reader base

I hate the term “following.” It feels creepy, especially as a woman on the internet. However, I want people to read my books. And you have to get people to pay attention to you online to do that well these days.

Over the past few years, I’ve narrowed down my focus on social media to mostly be Instagram, since that’s where the bookgals are. I’m also trying to build my actual newsletter, and I do have a substack for my pen name, I’m just not sure what to do with it. I was sharing quotes from And She Runs while I was working on it, maybe I’ll do that with And She Hunts.

But for social media, I have two goals.

Instagram: 800/900/1,000 followers
Email newsletter: 40/50/60 subscribers

There are also some updates I need to make around my email newsletter, like an introduction series for when people do sign up.

There are so many things to do behind the scenes, that’s for sure.

Goal Three: Daily Score Average of 85

This one is a stretch. In quarter two, I toyed around with the idea of leaving Notion for a few reason, but I’m back to it and part of that was my daily score. I have a formula where I add habits and things I do throughout the day to take care of myself, and those add up to a score. My goal is to have a daily average of 85.

Some of the things I document that add to the score are things like doing my laundry (clean clothes are always good), writing, reading a book, cleaning my house, going on a walk. Things that are good for me. Things that help me.

And I really need a lot of things to help me lately. So, here we go, back on another quarter to go and try to make some magic happen.

But we got an entire book done in about two and a half hours and I think that’s a great way to start the month.

June Reads

• Her Last Breath by Taylor Adams

• Such a Clever Girl by Darby Kane

• The Last Ferry Out by Andrea Bartz

• You’re Fatally Invited by Ande Pliego

• Not in My Book by Katie Holt

• Caught Up by Liz Tomforde

• His & Hers by Alice Feeney

• The Secret Lives of Murders’ Wives by Elizabeth Arnott

• Game Point by Meg Jones

• Set Point by Meg Jones

• Well, Actually by Mazey Eddings

• Stolen in Death by J.D. Robb

Hoping several weekends this month include an afternoon at the pool with the book, because at this point in life, this is the one thing that soothes me the most. As long as there aren’t a dozen teenagers there, but it is a neighborhood pool, so we work with what we got. And hopefully take a deep breath for our souls this month.

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At least not on what I want in life. I’m ten years into a hopefully long publishing career, and I hope this is still the beginning. I hope there’s a long writing and publishing career ahead of me still.

And I hope someday it does come become a full-time career. That’s the thing I want more than anything in this world right now. I don’t really want kids, I’m okay with not being married right now, I don’t need a big house. I just want to write full-time. And not because I got laid off, but because I am making regular income through my books.

But that moment is not here today. There is still work to be done, not just for writing but for myself, too.

When I sat down to brainstorm my goals for this month, I was on day one of antibiotic and had a nasty cough that sat deep in my lungs. My ribs hurt from the cough. I was depressed because I was sick again and because it feels like nothing is going right this year. In an ideal world, this next book would be off with readers or at least on the third draft right now.

However, because I was sick, I had to be realistic with what I could do, instead of being optimistic about what I could do. Even then, I still feel like I was a wee bit optimistic about what I could do. Which leads us to my June goals.

June Goals

Writing Goals

I really only have one goal this month and that’s to plan out a book series. I’m not planning to plot out this series chapter-by-chapter, but I do want to have a broad overview of what happens in the series.

• plot book two

• plot book three

• plot book four

• plot book five

Nice and simple, I hope. I also have my quarterly planning session, HB90 in the middle of the month, so I need to squeeze that in, too.

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Reading Goals

Read twelve books. Already read an entire book at the pool on Monday, so we have to be off to a good start.

Health Goals

Move my body again. My boyfriend and I have talked about joining a gym and waking up at 4 am to go every morning. I’m not sure I’m ready to pull the plug on 4 am, though maybe 5 am could be doable. He works earlier than I do, and I’m not sure I can commit to waking up that early every morning. Especially in the winter. But for now, I want to try and move my body in some way every day, whether that’s going to swim laps or walk on the treadmill or even just lift weights. Step by step to build some momentum. If I can do it in the summer, in Texas, I can do it any time.

Career Goals

Find a new job.

I know the job market is terrible right now, and lord, please let me get at least a new job before the end of the year. January-March is the super busy season in my industry and I do not have it in me to do another year of this.

But obviously I would like a new job sooner.

Or to go viral on social media and sell a ton of books. But I’d like to wait on that until I have at least one more book out.

Laura, Lost in Texas Goals

I’ve been in a bit of a rut just writing goal posts, recap post and monthly TBR posts. And I want to write more. Part of me is afraid though - because I know that at some point, I will be up for a job and someone who might hire me will see this website, I think, and might hold something against me. Having a public relations degree, and coming from a “you’re too sensitive” family, I self-filter a lot. But I want to try and open that up a bit.

So, I’m working through a list of ideas of things I want to write about and determining what I’m comfortable with sharing right now. So, I hope there are more blog posts this month than just the regular three.

Except this time, it was a telemedicine appointment with a doctor I will never talk to again, because I was 100 miles away from my PCP and she books up fast. I spent the last week sick and dog-sitting for my parents as they move into their new home in Southeast Texas. After spending the last thirty-four years (almost) in DFW, they’re starting their new adventure in Bryan/College Station (don’t worry, they’re Aggies, they’ll fit right in. Actually everyone in my immediate family is an Aggie except me).

It was a week that I wanted to spend resting and refilling myself, or replenishing if you will. I wanted to spend the week plotting out my book series and snuggling up with some pups.

Instead, I spent the week coughing and creating a ton of mucus (TMI but that’s the hard truth). That’s not the only thing I had, there was one week in May where I called out two days in one week due to a migraine. I think the stress of just life is really getting to my body right now, given the fact I’ve been sick twice this year. For comparison, it took three years for me to catch Covid for the first time, so my immune system is definitely not happy.

It’s not just my immune system that’s not happy, either. It’s my mental health, too. My whole body is screaming for a break, and I’m not sure how to give it that. The most obvious way would be to take time off, and I do have today off, but I don’t have enough PTO to take a week off to just breathe.

In fact, I worked last week while sick and dogsitting because I don’t have enough PTO to take off when sick and take off when I want.

Everything is great.

But even though things are looking rough, there were good moments in May.

The second weekend, the weekend of Mother’s Day, my boyfriend and I helped my dad move into their new house. It’s weird to think about my parents living anywhere other than Flower Mound, since they moved there before I was born, but again, they’re Aggies. If they were going to end up somewhere, Bryan/College Station would be it.

They’re also half the distance from me now, which is good. That means my parents can come see my grandparents more often.

The next weekend, my Opa and I drove down to San Antonio (aka, I drove through the most stressful traffic on a Saturday afternoon) to go celebrate my cousin. My maternal side of the family, there are six kids (my mom’s generation) and thirteen grandchildren (and now three great-grandchildren). One of my cousin's just graduated dental school, making her the first doctor of the generation.

It’s so wonderful to see my cousins just succeed in life - whether it’s becoming a dentist, or getting married, or having babies, I just love seeing my cousins have big milestones. Not even my cousins, but my siblings, too. I just love seeing people’s hard work pay off for the things they want. And I will always do my best to be there to celebrate family members.

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That weekend, too, our AC decided to die. There are benefits to renting - I don’t have to foot the bill for the repair. But that day of working while also sweating was brutal. And then we had the carpets cleaned two days later. And then the day after that was when I first noticed my throat was starting to hurt, and by the weekend, I had a full blown sinus infection.

The sinus infection made it into my lungs, too, and the cough I had was painful. Whatever it was that I had, I’m hoping that it’s mostly behind me now. May was rough.

But now that June is here, I’m hoping for a new month and to rest but replenish myself. There are no weekend trips planned, just 30 days of being at home.

I hope.

But one of the things I always try to make sure of is that there is time to read. As a young kid, I always saw my mom reading all the time, especially while waiting for my brother’s therapies and doctor appointments.

Reading has been such a way to turn of my brain, that I will 100% always want to pick up a book rather than watch a TV show. Which means now that my boyfriend has bullied me into watching Supernatural, it will take us a year to watch it all.

Because again, I’d rather read a book.

May Reading List

• Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke

• Toe to Toe by Falon Ballard

• A Serial Killer’s Guide to Marriage by Asia Mackay

• Caught Up by Liz Tomforde

• His & Hers by Alice Feeney

• Clean Point by Meg Jones

• Bad Men (audiobook) by Julie Mae Cohen

• You Are Fatally Invited by Ande Pliego

• Our Perfect Storm by Carley Fortune

• Stolen in Death by J.D. Robb

• Such a Clever Girl by Darby Kane

• Catch Her if You Can by Tessa Bailey

I’ve read four and I’m about to start Our Perfect Storm (which I thought was called One Perfect Storm until last night, whoops).

Even if I just read for an hour a night, I think I’ll be able to read most of these books in the next two weeks. I’ll have a week where I’m house-sitting and I anticipating a lot of reading that week (and lots of puppy cuddles).

Whatever you’re wanting to read this month, I hope you have all the great reads to start the month.

Winter? I’m more okay with snuggling up with a book and a blanket and not doing much else. Summer? I want to be in the sun, in the water, creating, thinking, moving forward.

So this is the time for that, right?

If I want to replenish my well, now is the time to do it. Except looking at my calendar, maybe I’m replenishing it a little too fast.

Much like April, May will feature several family events and four weekends in a row where I am not home to rest. And somewhere in the middle of all that is life.

(Legit, I don’t know how my parents were busy every weekend with four kids and weren’t just ready for a nap).

But when it comes to May, there are four core goals I’m focusing on.

May Goals

Writing: brainstorm and plot out the rest of my main series, the And She Runs series.

I’ve talked about this before online, but part of why I rewrote The Assassin to begin with was because I knew how I wanted the series to end, but I didn’t know how to get there and it was kind of a plodding mess.

Rewriting is giving me the opportunity to redo that, but I need to take the time to figure out the pacing and high level points of the series to set me up for success in the long term. Depending on how far I get into this process, I might start outlining the sequel, And She Hunts.

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Reading: Read at least 10 books.

I’ve been accumulating more books than I’m reading them, so I need to pick it up on the reading front. As I go to the pool more and more, my reading will increase. And I’ll share my reading list later this week.

Health: Move my body.

While losing weight and gaining strength is as much eating well as it is working out, I tend to eat better when I work out. In fact, as I write this, I’m on the treadmill before work, the second day in a row. I lifted weights last night, too.

This is a goal I feel I start and stop so often but I really want to stick to it. No matter how tired I am right now.

Career: Find a new job.

I know the job market is shit right now, and yet, it feels like it will always be that way. Especially with AI and a career that has been ten years of entry-level sales/customer service (customer success is what they call it now). So if it won’t get better, there’s no reason to wait.

Ideally I find a job soon, but bare minimum I need to be in a new role in the fall.

Four main goals, but of course there are plenty of other things going on, too. Two trips to Bryan/College Station, one to San Antonio, and work. The calendar is booked and busy.

I should set the scene. My maternal grandparents moved here in the 1970s and my mom grew up in Austin. My grandparents still live in the same house they bought when they moved here for my grandfather’s job at IBM (often jokingly referred to as the shorthand for “I’ve Been Moved”). So as a kid, I made multiple trips a year to Austin to visit both my maternal grandparents, and for a time, my paternal grandparents who lived in Georgtown, about 30 miles north of Austin.

When I say I-35 is probably one of my most traveled roads, I mean it.

But as a kid, it was a lot of time at my grandparents’ house, and not a lot of exploring the town. I thought Austin was boring, because I was a kid and never got to really experience the town when I came to visit. I swore I’d never move here.

Then right around the time I graduated college, I was in town for Christmas and I just felt it. There was something in my soul, in my body, whatever you want to call it, I just knew deep down that I was going to end up in Austin.

And then I ended up landing a job working for a political firm in the midst of the 2016 election. And I’ve been here ever since. At thirty-two, a decade is almost a third of my life and so much has happened since then.

I’ve worked in politics, in legal tech, in customer support and sales. I’ve worked at Apple for a contract, I’ve worked from home, I’ve done two stints being unemployed. And through all of that, Austin has been my home. With it’s weird weather and ungodly amount of cockroaches.

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The first few years of being Austin, I did Austin things. Went to coffee shops, breweries, sports events, I tried to get out and about in town and go to events. I love how many independent places there are here - from bookstores to breweries to coffee shops. I love the history of this place, especially considering I didn’t at one point. I’ve been here through some of the scariest times in Austin - like the 2018 serial bombing scenario, Covid, and the 2021 ice storm - and yet, this place has become home.

While I’ve become much more of a homebody since covid, there’s this desire to still explore the city I live in and I hope I get to do more of that for a long time.

Never thought I’d be here, but here we are 10 years into Austin and I don’t see myself leaving for at least a few more years. Whether it’s two or ten years or twenty more, here’s to the next adventure, Austin.

Every weekend was packed with family moments, both for my family and my boyfriend’s family. I’m absolutely exhausted between all of this and work, but my heart feels full and I haven’t had that all year.

The first weekend was Easter and we went to the southern side of Houston, almost near the coast. My boyfriend grew up there, so we spent the weekend visting his family. Even before I lost my grandfather this year, I really wanted to spend every possibility with my family, and now after being with my boyfriend for several years, that includes his family. It’s fun to slowly integrate into a family, bit by bit.

The second weekend, I went back to my hometown to hang out at my parents’ house one last time before they move. They bought that house when I was five and I’m now thirty-two. It’s bittersweet because there are so many reasons for them to move and start a new chapter in life. I’m happy they get to do that, but also knowing that he house that built me will belong to strangers in two months is weird.

I went up there one last time to just hang out and give myself some good good-bye memories. Before that trip this month, the last time I had been up to my parents’ house was for my grandfather’s funeral in February. While there might there might have been something poetic in that being the final time, I didn’t want it to be, so I went up this month. My mom and I went to the Ft. Worth Zoo to see the baby elephants before they move, and I went to Texas Roadhouse for the first time ever. Funny to think as a Texan I’d never been there before.

In between these weekends, I was still working and trying to start a first draft. I got 23,000 words done in Lost in the Canyon before I cracked the screen on my laptop. It’s fixed now after a week long stay at the Apple store and that killed my writing momentum, whoops. The day I dropped my laptop off at the Apple store, all of my family was in town to celebrate my Opa’s 90th birthday. How lucky am I that both of my grandfathers lived to 90? My nana will be 90 next year.

This past weekend, I thought would be quiet but we went to brunch both mornings (at the same place in Cedar Park), ran through Austin to check out some indie book stores for Independent Book Store day and just get out of the house. It was fun to run through central Austin when I live closer to the suburbs than downtown.

And even crazier? May basically looks the same - so many family events, so many road trips through Texas, and yet, I still have goals I want to accomplish in between them all.

Writing Recap

I started Lost in the Canyon on April 1st and my goal was 2,000 words a day. By the time I broke my laptop screen, I was averaging probably 1,700-1,800 words a day. However, it was a tough draft. I jumped into writing too soon before I really dug through to understand what the story was that I wanted to write. It was more vibes and aesthetics than it was plot and structure when I started. So I’m putting a pause on it to go back to my other series and to look for a job.

But I did get almost 23,000 words done tihs month.

Reading Recap

I read a few books in April, not as many as I wanted but I did read most of the books on my original TBR list.

• The Storm by Rachel Hawkins

• The Right Move by Liz Tomforde

• All the Little Houses by May Cobb

• Main Character Energy by Jamie Veron

• Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke

I started Yesteryear just a couple of days ago, so that’ll be mostly considered a May read

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Other little notes

I watched the Artemis II launch and splashdown. The first two weeks, while I was working, I was watching Artemis II coverage. I even orders a little Rise plushie this week. I’ll forget I ordered him by the time he makes it to my house.

I finally watched a miniseries that has been on my list for a few years, Anne Boleyn on AMC+. It made some noise on the internet a few years ago for casting Jodie Smith-Turner as Anne Boleyn, but it was billed a pschologyical thriller look at Anne Boleyn’s last four months. Maybe I just know too much about Anne Boleyn and the rest of Henry’s six wives, but I felt this show was lacking the thriller aspect.

Watched a lot Dallas Stars games and severe weather and my boyfriend decided we were going to start Supernatural, too.

April was so busy, so full. Now it’s time to do it all over again in May.

Watching such a cool experience has relit my love for space travel, though I don’t want to go up into space (I hate flying on planes, I can’t even imagine being blasted off in a rocket). Space exploration really feels like the biggest and best of humanity.

Photo by Terence Burke on Unsplash

Looking back at my childhood, before I was a teenager, but still old enough to remember big events, there are always two that stick out: 9/11 and the Columbia Space Shuttle Disaster.

I was seven when 9/11 hit and to this day, it trips me out a little that none of my siblings remember 9/11, they were all too young. None of them probably remember Columbia either. But I do.

Didn’t understand it at the time, but I remember. My dad took me to the YMCA to sign up for basketball and they had the local news on. The news had coverage of the Columbia. I grew up in North Texas, in the suburbs of the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex, and that’s where a lot of Columbia broke up on reentry, so the images you see even to this day, those happened in the sky I looked up at.

That’s probably why it stuck with me so much, and I remember asking my dad if we’d say “We remember 02-01-2003” like we did for 9/11. He told me we probably wouldn’t and he was right. Sometimes the Columbia disaster feels like something no one remembers besides me.

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But it sparked something in me - this fascination with space exploration. I remember watching the last space shuttle launch, trying to explain to my younger siblings, who were eleven and ten at the time, why this was such a big deal. We weren’t going to space anymore.

I remember being in my car in May 2020, when two astronauts were launched to the ISS with a Crew Dragon capsule. In the grips of the pandemic, seeing something as cool as space flight again. While I am a total scardy cat of heights (or of falling, I guess you could say), there is something about space flight that is so incredible.

Then I read Atmsophere by Taylor Jenkins Reid, which is about astronauts falling in love, and the reinvigorated my love of space flight. I watched every documentary I could find about Challenger and Columbia to understand how they happened and what

Science has advanced so far, we can break the barrier of the atmosphere to see what lies beyond our blue dot. As a writer, I often think that half of my job is to explore feelings and moments in time. Space is exploring the unknown, the beyond. Exploring moments or feeling, those are things we know, we just find new layers to.

Only so many people have explored beyond our world.

Not only is exploration an incredible feat, but just launching people into space - that is insane (in the best ways possible). To defy gravity, the atmosphere - it’s a huge collaboration. It requires people to be the best at what they do. As someone who feels like a jack of all trades, seeing people who absolutely kick ass at what they do and they are incredible at that one thing, it’s inspiring.

For as many moments these past few years that required an eye roll or an “what the hell is happening here?”, seeing Artemis II launch, see the moon and splash down safely, with such precision.

It makes me proud to be a human, to see such collaboration - the best of the best - working together for a common cause. It shows we can be better than just what we are now - that we can strive for greatness. That humans can work together for something bigger than ourselves.

We need more moments like this, because we all deserve to excited about humanity and for what we can do.

And I hope that we see more of this - not just exploration, I know we have more Artemis missions are on the way. But this sense of pride of the incredible things humans can do when we strive for our best.

Also, I definitely want a Rise plushie.

While I did publish my monthly recap and my April To Be Read, I just didn’t have time to publish my quarterly goals. I love quarterly goals, setting up an idea of what I want the next three months to look like. Then breaking them down into monthly goals - goal setting and dreaming big - favorite combo.

After quarter one, I really needed this reset, and it is already packed with things happening. My grandfather turns 90 this month, we had Easter yesterday, and my parents are moving for the first time since I was five (I’m thirty-two now), so my weekends for the next month and a half are booked with family events. Birthdays, graduations, unpacking, and even dog-sitting for a week.

There is so much going on in my personal life, it almost feels like it’s the holidays. Except it’s hot, so I guess it’s the holidays in Australia (since December is summer there).

Even then, this is the time of year where I feel the most alive. So, we’re going to be busy, but I hope it’s exciting busy, where I go to bed tired because I feel like I did well that day.

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My Quarter Two Goals

My Writing Goals

• Write the first draft of Lost in the Canyon, a stand-alone mystery

• Plot out the big moments for the rest of my main series

• Write the first draft of And She Hunts, the sequel to my latest book, And She Runs

My goal for Lost in the Canyon is to finish it by mid-May. I will be house-sitting at the end of May and want to spend that week plotting out the main series.

On top of writing, an indie author must also market her books, and there are a few things I need to do for that.

• finish my website, I need to write a new bio page

• focus on trial reels on Instagram

• finish my email sign up auto-responder for my pen name

My Life Goals (the non-writing goals)

• find a new job

• lots of traveling

• read 20 books

• start moving my body more, walking and swimming laps

• move away from Notion, which has been my go-to app for a long time. Maybe I’ll do a blog post about that process at some point, but I think I’m going to move to Obsidian

• summer clean my house, like spring cleaning but not in the spring

So many things on the calendar for this quarter and I find myself looking forward to the months ahead.

But this is not a weather post, this a reading post. The reason I mention pool season is because pool season is when I do most of my reading. A few hours at the pool, a few beers and a kindle, and I am unstoppable. At least when it comes to reading.

Now this year is a little unique in that I have travel/family plans six out of the next weekends. So I’m not totally sure the first time I’ll get to go to the pool and actually dip into the water. The moment I do, though, it’ll be with my kindle in hand.

I always love taking my kindle to the pool, because with the e-ink display, I can see it well in the sun, and it’s more waterproof than a physical book. So as we move to pool season, I’ll be reading more books on my Kindle than on my TBR cart.

My April To Be Read List

1. The Storm by Rachel Hawkins

2. Game Point by Meg Jones

3. All the Little House by May Cobb

4. The Right Move by Liz Tomforde

5. A Serial Killer’s Guide to Marriage by Asia Mackay

6. Main Character Energy by Caitlin Devlin

7. His & Hers by Alice Feeney

It’s a shorter list this month but that’s intentional. There’s so much going on and since I’m head deep in writing a new book. But even writers need to read to keep sharp - just like athletes watch film, and for the next few months, it’ll just be me and my kindle hanging out at the pool.

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Thankfully it mostly delivered. No one died, no one caught the flu. No random job changes to make me want to yank my hair out. In fact, I am more or less temporarily in a different role at work, helping out in a queue t…

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February was such a blur, I only read three books when I wanted to read more. So, I’m wanting to be intentional about picking up a book this month, compared to last month.

With pool se…

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I knew it would be a rough month going into the month - mostly because I knew that my new role I’d be starting was going to be tough. And it was, I spent most days drained beyond belief, checking out after I clocked…

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